Missing My Kids

 Missing My Kids

This week, my kids are away at sleepaway camp. I miss them tremendously. Sometimes the feeling hits so hard that I cry. And I’ve learned not to fight that.

When the emotions swell, I let them. I feel them fully in the moment — no holding back, no distracting myself. Strangely enough, allowing the wave to wash over me helps. Afterwards, I feel lighter, even if nothing about my situation has changed.

Once the tears pass, I do something to ground myself: hit the gym, take a walk, watch a show, read, or work on StrengthInMen. Whatever I choose, I try to immerse myself in it and stay present. It doesn’t “fix” missing my kids, but it soothes me in a way that denial or distraction never could.

Evenings are the hardest — especially when I’m trying to fall asleep. That’s when my thoughts roam the most, often drifting into painful territory. I catch myself replaying the breakup with my ex-wife, wondering why she wanted to break apart our family, why she once referred to our kids as “collateral damage.” I know those thoughts won’t change anything… but they still come.

Lately, I haven’t been able to stay home for long stretches. The quiet is deafening. Every room holds memories, and the stillness makes me more emotional than I want to be. So I’ve been camping out at Starbucks with my laptop, pouring my energy into StrengthInMen — especially the app. If all goes well, I’ll have the Reddit portion fixed soon and finally release it into the wild.

One week until my kids are back. Until then, I’m taking it day by day, moment by moment.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Broke Down

Today Was a Difficult Day, But I’m Still Standing Today hit me hard. Sometimes life feels like too much—and this was one of those days. The weight of everything I’ve been carrying just broke me. I felt  overwhelmingly burdened  by all the stress, uncertainty, and emotional pain I’ve been trying to keep inside. And finally, I cracked. I broke down. Dropped to my knees. And I prayed. A Moment of Raw Surrender In that moment, I cried out to God. I asked Him to: Lead me when I feel lost Help me be a better steward of what He's given me Take away these battles I can’t seem to win Use me for something greater Forgive me for my mistakes and my doubts Every emotion I had bottled up came pouring out. I wasn’t trying to look strong. I wasn’t trying to fix anything in that moment. I just needed to be seen. Heard. Held. And the incredible thing? I felt better afterwards. Lighter. Calmer. Like I wasn’t carrying it alone anymore. Struggling With My Health The emotional weight I’ve been deal...
Read more

My Story and How StrengthInMen Came

Why I Created StrengthInMen: From Rock Bottom to Purpose I didn’t set out to start a blog. I didn’t plan to create a platform. I just wanted the pain to stop. When I was going through my divorce, everything around me collapsed. My marriage was gone. My confidence shattered. I felt completely alone. No one to talk to. No support system. Just silence. I fell into a dark place— deep depression ,  anxiety attacks , and emotional numbness that scared me. I turned to  alcohol and  CBD  to escape the reality I didn’t want to face. And all the while, I worried about the impact this would have on my kids. What kind of father would they remember? What kind of example was I setting? In desperation, I even went to my ex-wife’s parents—people I once called family—and asked for help. But none came. They wanted to stay out of it. And that cut even deeper. I felt like a complete failure. I kept hoping my ex-wife would come back, even after the betrayal and chaos. I made a lot of mis...
Read more

Meaning in all of this

  Trying a Different Approach with StrengthInMen on TikTok Lately, I’ve been experimenting with a different approach for StrengthInMen’s TikTok account. In the past, most of my posts were motivational quotes—something short, powerful, and easy to consume. But I started to feel like that wasn’t enough. I wanted to go deeper. So I began posting more about my own journey —the daily hardships I face, the moments I break down, and the things I do to keep moving forward. It felt like the right thing to do—more honest, more personal, more real . But It's Been Quiet So far, those posts haven’t gained much traction. The likes and follows are low. The reach isn’t what I hoped for. And I’ll be honest: it’s discouraging. I’m not chasing fame. I’m trying to connect with other men who are struggling—just like I was (and still am). And when the message doesn’t seem to land, it starts to feel like maybe I’m missing the mark. That’s the last thing I want. I don’t want to just post for the...
Read more