My Weekend and Loneliness

Lately, I’ve Been Feeling Really Lonely

I’ve been feeling really lonely lately—and I want to be honest about it.

I live in Pennsylvania, but the truth is, this place never really felt like mine. I only moved here for my ex-wife. She wanted to be closer to her parents, and like many husbands and fathers, I said yes without thinking twice. I invested everything into my marriage, my kids, and my family.

What I didn’t do was invest in me.
I didn’t build a support system.
I didn’t make friends.
I didn’t create a life for myself outside of being a provider and husband.

And now, post-divorce, the silence hits different.

Rebuilding From Zero

Since the divorce, I’ve been pouring myself into being the best father I can be. My kids are my priority, always. But I've also been trying—really trying—to start rebuilding my own life.

  • I’ve reconnected with a couple of old childhood friends, even though they live hours away.

  • I’ve joined church groups, gone to meetups, tried putting myself out there locally.

  • I’ve been working out again (and I honestly love it).

  • I play basketball when I can.

  • I’m doing things that remind me of me—the version of myself I lost during the years of survival mode.

A Weekend That Felt Like Me Again

This weekend, I did something small but important—I saw the new F1 movie by myself. Total whim. Just got up and went. And you know what? It felt good.

Later, I met up with an old friend in Baltimore. We went bar hopping. Nothing wild happened. No crazy story. But for one night, I laughed, I relaxed, and I felt like my old self—not the stressed, wounded version of me who’s always trying to keep it together.

And that meant a lot.

Making My Space My Own

At home, I’ve started redoing everything.

I’m clearing out things from my past life—furniture, decorations, energy. I’m slowly creating a space that actually reflects me. Not who I had to be for someone else, but who I want to be now.

It’s weird how emotional that process can be. Some days I feel motivated. Other days I wonder if this loneliness will ever fully go away. But I keep going.

If You Feel This Too…

If you’re reading this and feeling the same weight, I want you to know you're not alone.

Loneliness is heavy—but it’s not permanent. Healing takes time. Rebuilding takes time. And it’s okay to celebrate the small wins along the way—a good workout, a spontaneous movie, a night with an old friend, a room that finally feels like yours.

This is what StrengthInMen is about: being real, rebuilding from the rubble, and remembering who you are—one piece at a time.

 

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